I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
ok first of all what the fuck
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
