whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
