im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Randomize
