So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
