i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he was CRYING into my vagina
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I believe in your delicious
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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