kristin has been a bad kristin
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
