this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
