I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
