I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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