yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
