Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
