I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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