dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I would fuck him just for his dog
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