Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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