But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
