I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Randomize
