Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
