Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
