I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
