It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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