some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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