So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
