these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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