the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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