My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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