I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
