omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
