Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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