Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
