Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
