frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
