Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he thought i was a dude.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
