My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
