this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
