She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
