i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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