My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
