You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
