I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
