forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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