Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
