last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
