You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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