Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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