If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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