is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
