Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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