A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
