you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
