just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
