I love black thongs
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
