Please, let me fuck your mom
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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